Why can't I get anything finished?
Why do I jump from technique to technique before giving them a chance?
Why can't I just enjoy the process and not be in a hurry?
Why do I think I need to sell a painting before I call myself an artist?
Why can't I like what I paint?
Why can't I paint in a style that I like?
Why does every one's art look better to me than my own?
Why, Why, Why?
While looking through some "draft" posts I had written a while back, I came across this one that caught my attention. I was clearly feeling frustrated with the whole painting process and doubting why I even paint at all. With my never-ending focus on the end result, I second guess every mark and judge the painting before it's finished. With those habits working against me, how do I even stand a chance? So needless-to-say, I too often quit and start something new, creating this cycle of never finishing anything. That's why I am totally committing myself to the painting process through practice, practice, practice. I need to embrace the process regardless of the final product whether it's good or bad. I do hate the thought of posting a "bad" painting on my blog, but this IS my journey. It wouldn't be real if I only posted the good stuff, now would it?
I think it comes down to fear. Fear of looking amateurish. Fear of looking like a beginner. I want to be a seasoned artist, but I'm not. This is who I am, a student struggling to find her way. Counting the days until Flora's Bloom True E-course for more guidance on the process.
Denise, I was drawn to peek at your blog after seeing your post on Mary's (Altered Art or Tin Can Tart). I only got as far down the page as this post when I got tears in my eyes because you speak and write what I feel. Boy, do I have one wicked and interfering internal critic! I've been tweaking a piece for what feels like months, never happy, fearing that the change I just made wrecked it...thank you for sharing and making me feel more normal. Here's to the courage to call ourselves artists out loud!
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